Teen-Girl Counseling in Agoura Hills, Califronia. Dalila Jusic-LaBerge

What challenges do parents of teen girls and young women face today?

Teen girls and young women face many challenges and parenting today have special challenges when kids are this age.  In addition to your daughter changing, the world around her is changing drastically, and your family may have a hard time adjusting to all these changes. Counseling and therapy can help your daughter and your family manage through this difficult transition.

Things have changed a lot since you grew up. Technology is bringing new ways of communicating and interacting with each other. Our children are growing up completely differently than we were, because of technology.

In addition, you probably want to make sure that your daughter is prepared for this ever-changing world by getting proper education and life skills. This all may bring up more stress and anxiety for you because you want the best for them.

Thus, you may try hard making a good living for them, enrolling them in the best schools, and providing them everything that they may need or want. You want to raise productive members of society and you want them to have the best life possible. Yet, in spite of all your best intents and efforts, your child may struggle to adjust. Due to a lot of uncertainty, both parents and children may have a lot of stress and anxiety.

I’m a supportive mother. Why doesn’t my daughter tell me when she is in trouble?

Moreover, you may not always know what your child is going through because she may not want to burden you, knowing you go through a lot of stress too. She may not feel you will understand her or she just simply doesn’t want to disappoint you. She may feel she doesn’t measure up to what she thinks a good daughter should be.

I feel my daughter hates me. Am I a bad mother?

Many teen girls and young women may rebel against their parent’s values and expectations. It’s actually quite healthy if your daughter questions her values and wants to be somewhat different from her parents. But, this can be more or less tumultuous. It depends on many circumstances including how parents handle their own emotional growth at this time. It’s not uncommon for parents to struggle when children are at this age. Many old, unresolved issues come up for the parents when their children hit this age.

You Are the One Who Matters the Most in Your Daughter’s Life, Although She Won’t Show It, and You May Not Be Rewarded with Feeling how Important You Truly Are

Still,  if you sense that your daughter is going through something, it’s important that you intervene in spite of her telling you she is OK. With the right support, you are the one who can make a big difference in these formative years. You hold the key to her healing process. What comes from you will matter the most. A team of the best counselors or therapists can’t make such a difference as you can. But, it’s important that you get help because it’s very difficult to do it alone. Professional therapists or counselors can help significantly in staying strong and being your best self for your daughter.

Conflict Can Help You Get Closer if You Handle It Properly

You may have a conflict, but conflict is better than her suffering alone. If you handle the conflict properly, it can result in positive changes and bring you closer together. What matters is you feel competent and are a natural leader for your daughter. This has to come from within and with love and confidence.  If you don’t feel confident, your daughter will sense your fear and not be able to work with you.  Read more about individual relationship counseling that can help you be your best self in relationships with yourself, children, partner, and so on.

What are some of the challenges that teen girls and young women go through?

Teen years and young adulthood are a very difficult age, but at the same time, this is when a lot of good work can be done in terms of repair of emotional distress, trauma, and wounding from their early years.

From our adult perspective, teen girls lives seem very simple. They don’t need to worry about paying bills, advancing their careers, feeding children, and so on. But, from their perspective, they may feel quite differently. They may be overwhelmed and worried about how they perform in school, how they look, will other peers like them, will an object of their romantic desire be interested in them, and so on. Today in schools there is a lot of pressure and competition, just like in the working world. It’s very competitive in terms of academics, prestige, popularity, and so on. Many children may feel they don’t fit in and may experience bullying, isolation, sadness, and low self-esteem.

In addition to these challenges, girls experience other challenges that naturally come with this age. They question their identity, their hormones may cause them a lot of moodiness, and relationships with their parents may be difficult.

Young Women May Struggle to Transition Into Adulthood

Young women today also struggle with similar issues as teen girls. In addition, they are facing uncertainties with living arrangements and career advancement. Young women today may not accomplish things with the same speed as their parents and generations before because the economy is much more diverse and challenging. It’s not uncommon that young women feel incompetent and unaccomplished.

Besides stress, anxiety, and low self-esteem, young women and teen girls struggle with social anxiety, possibly due to many negative peer interactions in school or due to overuse of social media and possible lack of human interaction.

Typical problems that girls show today are:

Low self-esteem

Poor body image

Stress

Feeling inadequate

Sadness

Moodiness

Difficult relationships with one or both parents

Social anxiety

How can counseling help your daughter?

Counseling or therapy provides a safe place where she can feel understood and where she can open up.

Counseling or therapy first helps teen girls and young women feel understood and less isolated. Counseling can be a safe place for your daughter to express herself without fear of being judged.

It’s not uncommon that children at this age don’t want to confide in you. Don’t beat yourself up. This can be a part of their natural development. At this age, they simply don’t consider their parents as people to go to for advice or comfort. This does not mean that they are against you.

The goal in counseling is to help your daughter feel that she has a safe place to open up, gain valuable coping and social skills to handle difficult situations and navigate social situations.

Counseling helps teen girls and young women gain valuable skills for life.

Besides providing a safe place for your daughter, therapy or counseling can help teen girls and young women gain valuable coping skills to handle difficult situations that will come along in life. She will also gain relevant communication, assertiveness, and social skills to handle conflicts and navigate social situations.

Counseling helps teen girls and young women build better relationships and establish trust with their parents.

This is ultimately the most important goal in therapy. When your daughter feels supported by you, she will be better equipped to handle difficulties in life. There is no better reward for me, but to see a teen and parent rebuild their trust and reconnect. This has a tremendous positive impact on your daughter. Sometimes, it just takes a third party to help you through these misunderstandings. As much as you may love her, she may not feel loved, due to self-esteem issues. A skilled counselor can help you understand your daughter and re-establish you as a trusted authority and support figure.

Benefits of counseling for your daughter:

Learning skills such as coping, communication, social skills, assertiveness, etc.

Improved relationships with family

Repairing of wounding that might have happened in the past

I would love to help your daughter handle the difficulties she is facing at this time of her life. I would be honored to help you renew your relationship and trust. This is one of my favorite types of work and has been practicing in this field since 2006. I’ve seen many families make positive changes and impact on their teens.

I have convenient locations in Agoura Hills and Westlake Village, and also offer online therapy for busy people who have a hard time making it to the office. Additionally, I offer Saturday appointments for people who are unable to schedule an appointment during the week because of conflicts with their own busy schedule.

Book your free 15-minute consult session so we can see what’s the best way to help your daughter.

 

 

Book your free phone consult to discuss how you can start feeling better now

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