Hi VR,

Thank you for great comments again. You bring up so many different points to this topic You talk about this in a different way than I do, but the conclusions are pretty much the same. I too agree that we need to be pretty much whole as an individual in order to have happy relationships.
I also agree that some men are intimidated by smart women, but as you said, you just don’t feel attracted to them. It’s just some healthy chemistry when you work on yourself.
Again, Thank you for your comments.

Thanks Dalila. What is interesting to me is that there ARE obvious differences in how men and women think, generally speaking, but nobody knows whether these are fundamental biological reasons or because we’ve been taught to be like this starting the day we were born. I tend to take the latter position, and it makes a lot of sense to me that when you promote one set of traits to one gender and the remaining set of traits to the other (it’s not so clean cut, but I gotta talk in generalizations), you get a very dysfunctional society because people are “halved.” That’s not to say there aren’t biological differences that can explain some of the differences, I just think they are vastly exaggerated.

In order to be whole, every individual must also be whole. No wonder people often have the idea that a relationship is comprised of two halves and that partners “complete” each other, which is backwards and unhealthy. I’ve physically felt my ‘void’ when I gave so much more importance to my analytical side, something was obviously missing. And it’s just as you say! I produce my best work now that I’m integrated. Creativity without logic is aimless. Logic without creativity is narrow. Put the two together and the possibilities are endless.

All that being said, I do believe some men are intimidated by smart women. In my experience, they tend to be insecure and base their worth on that whole stereotype that men must be smarter than women, they must earn more, they must be dominant, etc. That just means they have their own inner work to do.

In the end, it’s a people problem. We got a lot of people walking around trying to fit into a box, repressing themselves, and being ashamed and scared to live their truth. I think it’s slowly been changing. =)

Thank you for the response VR. I didn’t feel comfortable with masculine/feminine dichotomy. Some women are very analytical, while some men are very creative, Ultimately for both of those functionalities of the brain the other side needs to be highly involved too. In order to be highly logical, there is a lot of creativity involved. Likewise, to be creative, there is a lot of analytical skill involved. So, I almost don’t feel comfortable utilizing this dichotomy, but this was just for illustration. Bottom line is relying on logic without integration with emotional intelligence can be an obstacle in matters of the heart.
Thank you for sharing. I was smiling while reading your response because I can so relate.

My analytical is a bit stronger than my intuitive. I never had trouble attracting men, the trouble was they were either too needy or had intimacy issues, both of which relate to low self-esteem/self-respect and not being wholly emotionally developed, which was exactly my problem as well. See the connection there! So I agree with the three ways you listed that women can struggle in love.

I worked on myself for a long time and reversed all that. What you say on this article reflects my experience pretty well. During my journey, I “awoke” my intuitive/creative side that I had been suppressing for a long time, and finally became integrated. When I come across the types of men I used to be attracted to, I know immediately that they are lacking and aren’t healthy, it’s a total turn off now. They also won’t interact with me. We’re a mismatch and I’m happy about it.