Putting Yourself First Will Make This World a Better Place

Put yourself first

and make the world 

better place

As a soft-hearted compassionate woman, you already contribute a big deal to this world. You give your family and this world love, understanding, and safety of knowing that you are always there for them. Putting yourself first probably feels very unnatural. As a woman, you are raised to ensure that others around you are happy. This upbringing has its caveats. It often leads to women carrying guilt, anxiety, and depression for no apparent reason.  Even if your childhood was not traumatic, you might experience these ailments.  This kind of upbringing causes us to feel uncomfortable putting ourselves first.

Never putting yourself first has negative effects on your parenting and your relationship

If we continuously demonstrate to our children and partner that we are less relevant then they are, it has a profound effect on them. First, it causes them to see you in a lesser light and thus naturally lose respect for you. For your children, this means that they may struggle to respect you as an authority. You may wind up unable to discipline them. Your partner may lose interest in you due to the feeling that you are not challenging enough. What happens if you start putting yourself first?

Change will be scary, but well worth it

Putting yourself first will be scary. You will feel uncomfortable, but change always is. Your family may also rebel. They will challenge you. They may say, "You've changed. What happened to you?" They may strike your most vulnerable cord by saying something like, "You are not the same mom anymore." Or your teen daughter may say, "I hate you." What a cliche right?! Your family members know how much you care about them, and they are pushing your limits. They are poking at the most vulnerable parts of you, your love for them.

What matters is that you know that they are gonna be OK. You also need to know that when you are happy, your children and partner will be even better off. Your worrying about them will only diminish your parental joy and slow down this process of growth for the whole family.

Putting yourself first

Once you are OK with this shift, your partner and children will follow

Putting yourself first will make your family happy

The most important thing in this process of change is that you are comfortable with your decision to reclaim your respect. Others will follow. The fact is if they are insightful they may resent you if you don't. Once you reclaim yourself, they will respect you. Your daughter will have a great role model of a strong woman. Your son will learn how to respect women, and your partner will be more proud of you and have an even deeper attraction towards you.

It can be hard to go through this transition on your own. You or your family may need extra support. This support can come from extended family members, trusted friends, or professional help by an experienced therapist. They can help you feel competent to get through this transition.

See what kind of service  I can provide to you to help you in your effort in putting yourself first. 

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About the Author

I'm dedicated to guiding women from feeling confused and frustrated to feeling competent and joyful when it comes to matters of love and romance.