Put yourself first
and make the world
a better place
Never putting yourself first has negative effects on your parenting and your relationship
If we continuously demonstrate to our children and partner that we are less relevant then they are, it has a profound effect on them. First, it causes them to see you in a lesser light and thus naturally lose respect for you. For your children, this means that they may struggle to respect you as an authority. You may wind up unable to discipline them. Your partner may lose interest in you due to the feeling that you are not challenging enough. What happens if you start putting yourself first?
Change will be scary, but well worth it
Putting yourself first will be scary. You will feel uncomfortable, but change always is. Your family may also rebel. They will challenge you. They may say, "You've changed. What happened to you?" They may strike your most vulnerable cord by saying something like, "You are not the same mom anymore." Or your teen daughter may say, "I hate you." What a cliche right?! Your family members know how much you care about them, and they are pushing your limits. They are poking at the most vulnerable parts of you, your love for them.
What matters is that you know that they are gonna be OK. You also need to know that when you are happy, your children and partner will be even better off. Your worrying about them will only diminish your parental joy and slow down this process of growth for the whole family.
Once you are OK with this shift, your partner and children will follow
The most important thing in this process of change is that you are comfortable with your decision to reclaim your respect. Others will follow. The fact is if they are insightful they may resent you if you don't. Once you reclaim yourself, they will respect you. Your daughter will have a great role model of a strong woman. Your son will learn how to respect women, and your partner will be more proud of you and have an even deeper attraction towards you.
It can be hard to go through this transition on your own. You or your family may need extra support. This support can come from extended family members, trusted friends, or professional help by an experienced therapist. They can help you feel competent to get through this transition.