Five Dating Stages that Women With Anxious Attachment Must Learn

Five Dating Stages that women with anxious attachment must learn

Feel Like a Muse (even if your guy isn't a poet)

Calling you all high-achieving women who are perhaps losing hope that they can meet a good man out there while dating. Many of you wonder if you are wasting your time and if there are any good men left. If you follow these five dating stages for anxious attachment, you may start seeing a different picture.

Understanding these dating stages will help you avoid major pitfalls that cause you to feel hopeless about your prospects of finding love. Let me tell you about the three mistakes that many women make when looking for love. If you are making these mistakes, it’s great because there is hope that perhaps there are some good men out there. 

Three mistakes that make you feel that there are no good men on the dating scene

If you are one of anxious love seekers, these mistakes will cause you to struggle and wind up feeling depleted, defeated, and as if they are not good enough. If you find yourself wondering if there are any good men left or are you wasting your time, perhaps you need to learn the five stages of dating for anxious attachment. But, let's clear the mistakes first.

1. You have a wrong concept of what dating is

dating stages

First mistake that many make is they have the wrong concept of dating. Instead of seeing it as the means of meeting and getting to know people, many women conflate it with a relationship.

And, this kind of approach paired with perfectionist mindset and desire to be liked and accepted make them start judging themselves negatively if things don’t work out right away.

Once you understand the five dating stages you can slow down the attachment process and enjoy the natural progression of your relationship with a man that is also interested in the kind of relationship and commitment you want. And you are in charge of discerning and figuring out who's right. When you open up to meeting many people, you can enjoy achieve this.

2. You attach to the first human that you slightly like

The second mistake stems from the first one. As soon as they see a slight potential in someone, many women start overfunctioning. Instead of discerning who’s right for them, they focus on making it work with this one guy that they slightly like, but don’t know yet. 

You don’t know him. You have no idea if he is right for you, and you abandon all your desires and needs while trying to make this work. When you master the five dating stages for anxious attachment, you will learn how to slow down and allow the people you are dating to show you if they are right for you.

dating stages

3. You don't see the person for who he is


The third mistake is that you refuse to see this person for who he is, and you hope that when you two commit to each other, that he will change and become a man that will make you happy. It’s kinda like you create a fairy tale in your head that doesn’t match the reality.

I've seen so many women go through this. Once they are in a committed relationship, they wake up and wonder why their partner isn't romantic. They forget that he's always been that way. Then, they spend the rest of their relationship trying to change that poor guy. It just makes sense that he winds up feeling that he can never satisfy his partner. This is how men give up trying to make you happy.

When you master five dating stages, you will learn what to look for and how to see the person and their potential for relationship with you.

Not understanding five dating stages will leave you exhausted

Because of these three mistakes you wind up attaching to a potentially wrong person and waiting for him to agree to pursue the relationship in the same direction you want.

Then when things don’t work out after a few months or years, you are heartbroken. How can you start dating again in such a condition? So much time you dedicate to this one person who is not right for you. Of course you feel exhausted and hopeless thinking that there are no good men out there. And the fact is that you’ve met only a few men.

Secure love creators implement the five dating stages

Now, let’s look at what secure love creators do. Instead of trying to convince someone that they should commit, they wait to meet the partner who will naturally be on the same page with them. These women naturally give their hearts not because they are turned on by someone, but rather based on discerning who is right for them, who is ready to cherish their love and love them back.

Perhaps, it’s easier for these women because they are secure, but I want you to know that you too can become secure. Utilizing my Secure Love Creator Method, I empower my clients to feel worthy, valuable, loveable, and capable of discerning of who can be good for them in the long term.

dating stages

Benefits of mastering five dating stages for anxious attachment

If you have an anxious attachment, I’m creating a specific guide to help you with dating.  I identified five stages of dating that will help you:

  • Slow down the attachment process

  • Learn how to discern who’s right, and who’s not right for you

  • Realize that there are a variety of men ready for the kind of relationship and love you want

  • Realize that there is an abundance of men eager to date you and show you what they are about instead of feeling that you need to prove yourself.

The five stages of dating for secure love creation


Enjoy playful exchanges with everyone everywhere with no expectations. No emotional attachment. These are just some people you meet. This is where you practice enjoying people's company.


Develop a deeper connection with some and determine if you want to meet them for a date. You must have some small set of criteria. No overthinking. You are still in friends zone.


Remember, dating isn’t a relationship. You are not exclusive yet. Enjoy this time and determine how it feels to be with each one you are seeing. Follow the wisdom of your emotional intelligence to make your choice. Keep narrowing it down. This time is great to figure out what works and what doesn’t work for you. Stay in this period a little longer.


It will become clear to you who that one lucky guy is who gets your full attention. Take some time to get to know him. You are still not giving your heart away.

You will enjoy good times together, but there will be some challenging times, too. In the right relationship, you will feel safe to express your disagreements and, when you argue, you will learn more about each other.


You will know he is right when your love and security grow! No emotional roller coasters. Ups and downs in the relationship will be addressed and resolved resulting in increased intimacy and deeper understanding of each other. You are supposed to be able to enjoy each other’s company even in ordinary circumstances and not only when on vacation or some fun times.

What are your thoughts?  Do you recognize these stages? Do you know how to communicate your needs and desires for more attention, time together, emotional intimacy....You should download my Scripts that will help you with it. 

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About the Author

I'm dedicated to guiding women from feeling confused and frustrated to feeling competent and joyful when it comes to matters of love and romance.