Break Limiting Beliefs About Love

Limiting Beliefs About Love: "Relationship Should Occur Naturally" Is the Biggest Lie that Keeps You Single and Powerless

When it comes to love and relationships, many women hold onto the belief that love should happen naturally. This idea has been perpetuated by societal norms, romantic movies, and the desire for validation and worthiness. However, relying solely on the notion that relationships should unfold effortlessly can leave you feeling disempowered and hinder your chances of finding the love you truly desire. In this article, we will delve deeper into the reasons behind this belief, explore the chances of creating a healthy relationship without proactive efforts, and provide actionable tips for breaking free from limiting beliefs and finding real, fulfilling love.

The illusion of natural love may keep you from a happy relationship

limiting beliefs about love


The idea that love should occur naturally has been ingrained in our culture and reinforced through various mediums, such as movies and literature. We often witness the storylines where the main female character effortlessly captures the heart of the withdrawn, attractive male lead without making any conscious efforts. These narratives play into our deepest desires to be chosen and loved, instilling a sense of worthiness and validation. Consequently, many women internalize this belief and expect love to unfold spontaneously in their own lives.

If you continue holding onto this notion, you will sabotage your romantic relationships. Therefore, it is essential to question the validity of this notion. Relying solely on the hope that love will happen naturally can be detrimental to your romantic prospects. While there are instances where people do find lasting love without actively seeking it, the chances of meeting the right partner and creating a fulfilling relationship based solely on coincidence are relatively slim. 

The garden metaphor illustrates what you need to do to nurture your love life


To illustrate the fallacy of expecting love to occur naturally, let's consider the analogy of a garden. Imagine a garden left to grow "naturally" without any human intervention. While this may initially seem idyllic, what typically occurs is that weeds overrun the garden, stifling the growth of beautiful flowers and impeding their development. Additionally, the garden may yield a variety of flowers that may or may not align with your preferences. The likelihood of achieving a rose garden, for example, becomes significantly diminished without intentional cultivation and care.

limiting beliefs about love

Similarly, believing that relationships should unfold naturally without any conscious actions or efforts can result in missed opportunities and unfulfilled connections. Even if you do meet someone by chance, there is no guarantee that they will be the right match for you or fulfill your relationship goals. Just as a garden requires deliberate tending, nourishment, and cultivation to flourish, creating the relationship you desire demands an active role and intentional actions. 

This is why I utilize the Couture Love Plan, one of the steps of the Secure Love Creator Program to help women figure out what they need to be happy in a relationship. When they go through this step of the program, they have a clear vision of what they need and it becomes easy for them to make good choices in a partner. They don't need to go through disappointment after disappointment when looking for true love. Instead, they feel like they have control. You too can make small steps to consciously stop self-sabotaging your chances of meeting a great life partner. 

Consequences of harboring limiting beliefs around how you as a woman "should" behave

For women who firmly hold onto the belief that love should occur naturally, there can be several adverse effects. These effects are related to loss of a sense of control in your love life as it's often true with many limiting beliefs about love.  So what can happen if you continue allowing yourself to continue this way. 

You may find yourself wondering why things are not happening for you

When you see someone else happy in their love life, this naturally causes you to compare yourself to them.  Comparison often leads to feelings of disempowerment and frustration.

By passively allowing love to unfold, you may attract and be attracted to individuals who are incompatible or detrimental to your well-being

This can result in being trapped in toxic or unfulfilling relationships, forming trauma bonds, and being unable to find the love and happiness they deserve.

Many women who subscribe to the notion of natural love may feel obligated to make relationships work even when they are unhappy

Instead of actively seeking what they want and need in a partner, they settle for whoever comes along naturally, fearing that another opportunity may not present itself for months, years, or even decades. This self-imposed limitation can lead to a lifetime of unfulfilled relationships and missed chances for genuine happiness.

 It's essential that you judge common limiting beliefs more carefully if you want to fully love someone and be able to receive love. 

Breaking free from limiting beliefs so you can find love in a committed relationship

limiting beliefs about love


Sooooo... I imagine you wonder what you are supposed to do.  How can you eliminate these limiting beliefs and feel like you are in power? The key to overcoming these limiting beliefs and empowering yourself in matters of love lies in adopting a proactive approach and implementing effective strategies. I'll give you some of them that will help you get started. 

Three proven tips for meeting and keeping quality men while dismantling the myth of natural love:

1. Don't be afraid to make the first move: Instead of waiting to be chosen, take charge of your romantic life by expressing interest and initiating conversations. By sending clear signals and being proactive, you increase your chances of attracting the right partner and creating meaningful connections.

2. Be upfront about your relationship goals: Clearly communicate your intentions and desires early on in the dating process. This will help filter out individuals who are not ready for commitment or those who aim to perpetually remain in the dating scene without seeking a genuine partnership. By setting your expectations from the beginning, you attract men who align with your long-term relationship goals.

3. Take your time before becoming exclusive: Avoid rushing into exclusivity before ensuring that your potential partner is ready and capable of providing everything you need in a relationship. By allowing them to demonstrate their commitment and compatibility over time, you minimize the risk of entering into unfulfilling or mismatched partnerships.

By following these three tips, you position yourself in a much better position to meet your relationship goals. Most importantly, you prevent yourself from convincing a partner of your worthiness and instead focus on finding someone who is genuinely ready and deserving of your love.

You can feel empowered in your love life 


The belief that relationships should occur naturally is a limiting belief that can leave you feeling disempowered and hinder your chances of finding genuine, lasting love. While societal norms and media often perpetuate this notion, it is crucial to challenge its validity. By recognizing that relationships require intentional effort, proactive actions, and a clear understanding of one's desires, you can break free from this myth and open yourself up to a world of possibilities.

limiting beliefs about love

Rather than waiting for love to happen on its own, it is essential to take an active role in shaping your romantic life. By adopting a proactive approach, being upfront about your intentions, and taking the time to ensure compatibility, you increase the likelihood of finding a fulfilling and meaningful relationship. Remember, your heart is a precious gift, deserving of someone who is ready to receive it fully.

Next steps

limiting beliefs about love

If you find yourself struggling with limiting beliefs and fears surrounding love and relationships, reaching out for support can be beneficial. Consider joining a supportive group or seeking guidance from professionals who can help you navigate the complexities of dating and finding real, lasting love. Together, we can break free from the confines of limiting beliefs and create a future filled with the love and happiness we deserve.

If you want a clear strategy for finding love and creating a secure healthy relationship with a partner that can't get enough of you,  you are in luck. I'm opening my program to only five women this month.

Book a call with me to see if this would work for you.

Is relationship coaching right for you? 

I offer online relationship coaching for high achieving women interested in sincere high quality men, men ready to give you their heart. 

Get exclusive access to my best tips about love, dating, and relationships in the free Academy Resource Hub and download The Accidental Singledom Checklist: Are You Standing in Your Own Way?

You will also get two bonus courses:

Challenge Your Accidental Singledom AssumptionsLearn how to change your limiting beliefs and get the love you want

Reach His Heart- Communicate with your partner, so he never has to feel attacked

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About the Author

I'm dedicated to guiding women from feeling confused and frustrated to feeling competent and joyful when it comes to matters of love and romance.

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