Two Communication Mistakes High Achieving Women Make

Avoid These Two Communication Mistakes Most High Achieving Women Make

Feel Like a Muse (even if your guy isn't a poet)

Communication mistakes in relationships can cost us so much, but some mistakes are characteristic to high achieving women due to the way they are raised.

There are two things that almost all high achieving women do that cause them to struggle with communication in romantic relationships. If you make these two mistakes, it’s likely that you are one of us, anxious love seekers, those who have strong yearning for love.

Communication Mistakes Keep Most Women Frustrated, Confused, and Feeling Unheard

how to assert boundaries with a man

It's important to be aware of these communication tendencies as they may feel like they are a part of who you feel you are, a part of your identity. But, remember when we accept these identities, there are aspects of them that are very helpful to us, and some parts may be preventing us from achieving new things in life.

Being aware of these communication mistakes doesn't mean that you need to disown these parts of your personality. You just need to see that there are other ways of seeing things, communicating, and ultimately being. When you  do this, you basically open your window of opportunity. So what are the communication mistakes we are talking about when it comes to high achieving women?

Relying on Logic, Argumentation, and Trying to Prove the Point

Many high-achieving women think that good communication means expressing their arguments effectively, as if they are in a courtroom. You may have excellent logical points, but this approach doesn’t allow you to connect emotionally with men. Relying on logic just causes you to continue with endless arguments or your partner may completely disengage.

I'm not saying that you should be illogical, but you need to remember that our logic is based on our set of knowledge and how we see the world. If you lived a couple of decades at least, you already know that not everyone agrees with you. You also know that there is no court or a judge to determine whose arguments are better in your daily life, unless you are going to a divorce court.

communication mistakes

So, if you want to build a strong deep emotional connection with your partner, try to avoid this communication mistake. Instead of presenting your arguments, focus on trying to understand where he is coming from, what his way of thinking is, and then, learn how to express your needs and boundaries.

The Second Mistake in Communication Is Focusing of Your Partner Instead Yourself When Figuring Out What to Say

Of course you should should listen to your partner and focus on him when communicating, but when you are figuring out what you want to say, it's important that you focus on yourself.  If you make this communication mistake, you most likely don’t process your feelings. Instead, you just list various issues or problems you see with your partner. This will cause your partner to feel exposed and attacked, and you will wind up feeling unheard, like “talking into thin air.”

What's the right way? Well, if the goal of your communication is to set boundaries, express your needs, and ultimately build a powerful connection with your partner, then it's important that you process your feelings before communicating.

When you share your feelings with your partner, you allow him to bond with you. You honor him by showing that it matters what he does or doesn't do to you. Then, he gets to choose and show you how much you mean to him and what he is willing to do to show you that.

You Are Missing Important Cues in Communication Due to These Communication Mishaps

You see, focusing only on who’s right and wrong and relying on logic in your conversation causes you to miss so many other important cues. For instance:

  • You may fail to see how your communication lands with your partner deep down.  Most likely your partner will not respond well because he can’t understand you deep down while he is on a defensive mode.
  • You will also struggle with expressing your needs and boundaries because you are not in touch with them while focusing on logic. This means that you will never give your partner a chance to potentially meet your needs.

Relationships are complex, but not difficult once you get in touch with your own emotions and dare to share them with your partner. Doing this is an investment into your future

I mean look around. Women who are happy in relationships are in touch with their emotions and they express their needs and boundaries. They focus on themselves and share their deepest emotions. This makes their partners want to be a better man who are invested and not disengaged in the relationship.

Tips to Avoid These Two Communication Mistakes in Relationships

So, how do you do this? How do you communicate in the ways that help you build a powerful emotional bond with your partner. How you you set boundaries and express your needs. Well, I can write a book about it, but for now, I will give you a little tip to avoid these two communication mistakes. 

Utilize "I" Statements and Focus on Sharing Your Emotions

Instead of focusing on him and telling him everything that is wrong with him, focus on yourself, process your feelings so you can understand your needs, and then utilize “I” statements. For instance, instead of saying something like “You never do nice things for me,” you can say something like, “I feel worried that you are not interested in me when you don’t make plans for us to be together.”

In this example, you didn't say anything negative about him. You also didn't try to convince him that he should do nice things for you. You actually honored him and showed him that he matters to you.

If he cares about you, he will want to make sure you feel secure and not worried. Moreover, he will feel flattered that you care if he is interested in you. He will also see you as a woman who has values and boundaries, the one who cares about herself.

So let me ask you… do you want to continue arguing all the time without getting anywhere or do you want to build emotional connection with your partner

If you're ready to create secure love and build powerful emotional connection with your partner, then Join my Secure Love Creator Club

Let me know if you agree with me and if you have any questions.

If you need some help in learning how to process your emotions and communicate effectively, so you can enjoy an amazing relationship and powerful bond with your partner, I can help you with this.

Is relationship coaching right for you? 

I offer online relationship coaching for high achieving women interested in sincere high quality men, men ready to give you their heart. 

If you are looking to create magical attraction with an amazing man, you need to know how to express your feelings and needs. Your feelings are the path to his heart. 

Learn how to process and express your emotions. I created a course just for that. Self-Love Revolution-Express Your Feelings and Capture His Heart  course will help you learn how to communicate with your partner in the ways that will deepen your bond.

Learn how to express your needs and boundaries in the ways that will make your partner feel empowered to make you happy and protect you instead of making him defensive. Your anger is the key to your deeper emotions. Once you become aware of them, you can communicate much more effectively.

Learn How to Understand Your Emotions and  Communicate Your Needs 

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About the Author

I'm dedicated to guiding women from feeling confused and frustrated to feeling competent and joyful when it comes to matters of love and romance.