Feel Like a Muse (even if your guy isn't a poet)
If you are one of modern high achieving women struggling on the dating scene, you may come to a conclusion that men are intimidated by you because you are powerful, earn a lot, straightforward, and so on. I hear so many women asking "Why are men intimidated by me?"
I’m sure you will be right in some instances, but I want to warn you against this way of thinking as it doesn’t serve you. Moreover, you may misunderstand what’s actually happening. Wrong questions will lead to wrong conclusions.
You should never ask, "Why are men intimidated by me?"
Now, let me explain why you shouldn’t worry if men are intimidated by smart women.
First of all, you should not feel that you need to dumb yourself down to be happy in love. Unfortunately, so many women worry that men are intimidated by their success or level of education. This leads them to wonder how to make themselves more appealing.
This causes these women to overthink and hide their true self when they meet someone. When you act like this, it become hard to connect with your date or partner. You are potentially relating through several filters of self-induced anxiety. All this most likely looks like overthinking, being overly self-critical, and further down sabotaging the relationship. Most of us fear rejection or not getting the conformation that we are good enough, that we are attractive, that he chose us…
If men are not intimidated by powerful women, what's going on then?
Your date or potential partner is not necessarily afraid of your success, but rather they sense the level of anxiety that comes from you when you are not authentic. They may not know how to explain this, but they just may feel uncomfortable in your company.
It is completely understandable why women struggle to show up as themselves. In an effort to help us become successful, our parents raise us to be disciplined and work hard to satisfy variety of requirements on our path. So, we simply learn that our needs, feelings, and desires don’t matter so much.
Many of us also learn that our feelings are too much for our environment. So, we become ashamed of them. It becomes scary to open up.
It's not possible to create emotional bond and social connections when your nervous system is riddled by survival automations
So our mind and body create what I call nervous system automations that help us survive and manage life and difficult relationships. If you are a high achieving woman, who is also an anxious love seeker, your nervous system automations will be geared towards trying to make yourself likeable. Thus, you wind up wondering if men are intimidated by you.
Notice this focus on the other party’s feelings about you. You are simply not relaxed enough to relate soul to soul with another human. To make the matters worse, dating and romantic relationships trigger our survival nervous system automations more than any other interactions. This is all due to attachment trauma.
Small shifts lead to compounding results
But imagine feeling free to be yourself openly and going out on a date.
And then, contrary to your expectation that he would run away, he feels even more connected with you.
This is seemingly such a small shift, but it’s actually huge. This is when you can start getting confirmation that you are valuable, attractive, and enough just the way you are. From this place, you can create a secure happy relationship.
This is when you attract high value secure men who are ready to start their life with you.
And this is what I stand for. I want you and all other women to feel that soulful true love, and that can happen only when you let them see YOU.
By utilizing my Secure Love Creator framework, I help anxious love seekers learn how to communicate their needs and boundaries openly, so they can choose quality secure men.
If you want this for yourself, follow me and share this post with friends that can use this.
So remember!
Secure men are not intimidated by your success.
They are subconsciously triggered by your fear of showing up as yourself because you had to adopt a false belief that you are not good enough for anyone to see you completely.
Only when you heal that part, can you experience soulful, secure love.
Instead of asking "Why are men intimidated by me," ask, "How can I meet people that are right for me?"
If you are tired of waiting and feeling like you are not enough, and you want to dive deeper into these teachings, join my Secure Love Creators Club.
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I offer online relationship coaching for high achieving women interested in sincere high quality men, men ready to give you their heart.
If you are looking to create magical attraction with an amazing man, you need to know how to express your feelings and needs. Your feelings are the path to his heart.
Learn how to process and express your emotions. I created a course just for that. Self-Love Revolution-Express Your Feelings and Capture His Heart course will help you learn how to communicate with your partner in the ways that will deepen your bond.
Learn how to express your needs and boundaries in the ways that will make your partner feel empowered to make you happy and protect you instead of making him defensive. Your anger is the key to your deeper emotions. Once you become aware of them, you can communicate much more effectively.
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