How to Maintain Self Respect in Relationships

Every Woman Can Feel Like a Muse by Nurturing Self-Respect in Relationships

I believe every woman is beautiful and attractive regardless of her body proportions, facial symmetry, hair texture and other culturally imposed superficial standards. I wish I could just swoosh a magic wand and make you all know this deep inside. But this is not my job and I would rob you of your personal journey. It's essential that you work on increasing self-respect in relationships.  

Our insecurities come from centuries of oppression and lack of respect we deserve

We, women, are disadvantaged because our identity is based on what society has been telling us for centuries. Our virtue is beauty. Moreover, beauty standards are determined by people who don't necessarily have women's interests in mind. Because of this, so many of us focus on these outside physical characteristics in such a negative way.

Instead of looking at ourselves as a whole person, noticing our beauty, and being confident about it, we focus on all those things we don't like. We equate our identity and self-worth based on someone's standards, which is detrimental to our self-esteem. This is further complicated by all kinds of industries preying on our insecurities and trying to tell us how else we don't measure up. I think it's time to change this.

If you ask me, all these stories are created to keep us women and our sexuality under control. It also keeps us away from feeling empowered about our love life. Hey, you need to wait and wait for love to find you. 

Why is self-respect important in a relationship?

Entering a relationship does not only mean building a healthy relationship with another person, it also entails the responsibility of nurturing your love for yourself so that you could share this wonderful love with your partner. When we do not have self-respect, we lose our personal power in relationships.

Instead of thinking about what's good for you, identifying your needs or healthy boundaries, you abandon yourself and focus on your partner extensively.

This kind of dynamic puts a strain on a relationship. Instead of relying on your own coping strategies, your partner may feel a need to reassure you of your worthiness. You'll have a hard time creating a secure healthy relationship with your partner if you don't put in the time and effort to develop self-respect. When your partner feels the burden of managing your emotions, he then may have a hard time surrendering to loving you fully because he may feel like there is no room for his emotions.

Signs that you may lack self-respect in a relationship

It is natural that we all may struggle with self-respect at times. But, there are times when we may need to work on it. If you identify with many of these, you also may have anxious attachment. Let's see what are the signs that you may feel like you are not good enough in a relationship.

  • Outward focus that causes you to constantly perpetuate the thoughts of how inadequate you are
  • Constantly wondering what else you need to improve on to feel more worthy of the relationship
  • Over functioning due to the belief that your partner won't make an effort to get the relationship going
  • We put ourselves in the position of proving ourselves worthy of love, relationships, and affection
  • Unable to set healthy boundaries with your partner
  • Falling for partners that are not giving you enough
  • You could also start feeling like you are unworthy  of love and you must work hard for it in order for your partners to respect and make you feel loved
  • Lastly, you always seek validation from others, even from those who are not important to you

If you have awareness about these issues, it'll be easier to prioritize self-care and self-love, which will ultimately improve your relationships.

Tips for maintaining self-respect

If you feel that you lack self-respect in relationships, I want you to know that you, too, can regain it. I helped many anxious love seekers transition to secure love creators. If you become aware and accept responsibility for your love life, this can be your first step towards healing and secure relationships.

I'll tell you what secure love creators do and give you a couple of tips to help you nurture the sense of self-appreciation and self-love, so you too can feel like a muse even if your guy isn't a poet writing sonnets about you or even if you are still single.

Let me now tell you what secure love creators do instead of trying to meet imposed standards of beauty. My dream is that one day, all women will feel worthy, beautiful, and valuable because, you know what? This is the only way we can raise secure children and create a better society. 

Focus on yourself and your needs instead of figuring out what else you need to improve on

Secure love creators don't worry about how they come across. Instead of thinking, "Will he like me?" "How should I look?" "What dress should I wear?" or "Will he think I use too much makeup?" They focus on how things work out for them. This shift allows them to be open to seeing what others have to bring to the table. Secure women check in with their emotions to see how others treat them and how the relationships work out for them. In this way, they are able to do what's good for them without thinking too much about what others might think, as long as it makes them happy and it boosts their confidence.

Become aware of the value you bring to the relationship and remember what you deserve

One thing that secure love creators know is that their company and time are the most valuable gifts to another person. Thus they discern who appreciates their time and company instead of trying to figure out how they need to be to please this person. This enables them to set boundaries and discern who is right for them. Moreover, they know when to walk away when the person they're with is not willing to make compromises and when they do not respect them. Secure love creators know people don't own them, and they do not become less worthy when the other person doesn't love them.

Be ready to decide what works for you when making choices in life

Many women beat themselves up because they don't fit into certain clothes. Don't you think focusing on your perceived shortcomings will hurt your self-esteem? Everyone deserves to feel good about their looks regarding body size. You don't have to go with a general narrative that keeps us women enslaved to fashion and other industries.

Instead of trying to fit into clothes, I recommend focusing on how the clothes make you feel. Do they make you feel attractive, joyful, playful, and feminine? Are they comfortable? Clothes, makeup, accessories, treatments, and all other body care enhance your life, make you feel good, and love yourself. You are not supposed to be a slave to them. So, alter your clothes to fit you, have something custom made for you only. Go to a salon that focuses on healthy products, with a good staff that makes you feel welcome, and so on. 

Are you with me? How can I convince you that attraction is about how you feel about yourself inside? 

I mean we've all seen some average-looking women commanding a lot of attention, while some physically beautiful women feel super insecure, and that shows on the outside. And, when it comes to attraction on a date, it's all about how they feel in your company. When you are confident and know your value, the other person will feel more comfortable and attracted to you. And, your relationship will be built on self-respect and love making it genuine and authentic.

It's time we feel good about ourselves

In order to improve self-respect in relationships, it's helpful to improve your overall wellbeing and self-esteem. This way, you send your nervous system a message that you matter and deserve love and affection. Self-Love Evolution is the first phase of my Secure Love Creator program, and after going through it, my clients are ready to start dating masterfully.

Now you know the secret. I hope you, too, join me in this quest to make the world feel more secure, starting with yourself. I'm disappointed to see women insecure, just like I was when I was young. I don't want you to suffer as I did. Let's do better for future generations of girls. You know you do not need to spend a lot of money to start building your self-respect. Here are some things you can do which eventually help you nurture your self-confidence:

  • Create a healthy self-nurturing routine
  • Find a hobby that you enjoy
  • Recognize your feelings and do not feel ashamed about it
  • Firmly reject what makes you uncomfortable
  • Forgive yourself when you make a mistake

Are you ready to make this change for yourself? Will you give yourself body-positive talk just as you encourage your friends and remind yourself of how worthy you are? These words make an impact, you know? Promise me you will. Let me know if you have any other tips. What helps you feel better about yourself?

If you want to learn more about secure love, join my Secure Love Creator Club.

Is relationship coaching right for you? 

I offer online relationship coaching for high achieving women interested in sincere high quality men, men ready to give you their heart. 



Get exclusive access to my best tips about love, dating, and relationships in the free Academy Resource Hub and download The Accidental Singledom Checklist: Are You Standing in Your Own Way?

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About the Author

I'm dedicated to guiding women from feeling confused and frustrated to feeling competent and joyful when it comes to matters of love and romance.

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