Are You Self-Sabotaging in Relationships Thinking that Men are Afraid

Thinking That Men Are Afraid of High Achieving Women May Be What Keeps You Single

If you are a high-achieving woman, you may find yourself self-sabotaging in relationships in a variety of ways. Thinking that men are afraid of high achieving women may be what keeps you single and is just one of the ways in which you may self-sabotage your chances of creating secure healthy relationships. You may also find yourself dating, meeting someone nice, and having a great connection at the beginning, just to wind up in a dead end relationship that goes nowhere with a man that is not willing to commit to anything more than fun. 

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What leads to this form of self-sabotage in relationships

self-sabotage in relationships

Women experience a lot of pain when on a dating scene. If you are dating and not meeting quality men who want commitment, you may start feeling that men are afraid of high-achieving women. I don’t blame you  after all these experiences.  

And, let me tell you, you are not alone. There are so many high achieving women experiencing similar, meeting men who say things like “Let’s see where it’s going,” instead of courting them and pushing the relationship forward.

Our brain naturally goes to thinking it must be something wrong with me, or to preserve a little self-esteem, we may say, it’s them, the men are just intimidated by us. 

Pair these fairly recent experiences of getting hurt while dating with childhood experiences that lead to insecure attachment style, and you get a perfect situation for utilizing these survival coping strategies that served us in the past. However, it's important to note, that if you want to build emotional intimacy and powerful attraction, you need to work on healing. Things that sabotage romantic relationships are low self-esteem, fear of getting hurt, or fear of abandonment. 

Are men intimidated by your success?

There could be some men that may be intimidated by high-achieving women, but why would you worry about them when there are so many men that aare not. Secure relationship-ready men love ambitious women, and I assume that they are what you want, secure men. Right?

There are many high achieving women who are in happy relationships and who didn’t need to convince their partners that it was OK to commit to them.  For example, look at Amal Clooney or Michelle Obama. Their achievements just add to their attractiveness and their partners adore them. 

Where can this kind of self-sabotaging in relationships lead you?

If you continue believing that your success intimidates men, where do you think you will be in a year, two, or five? Making this assumption is not likely to help you reach your goal of meeting quality men who are the right fit for you.
It is important to recognize that the belief that men are intimidated by successful women is based on a societal misconception that equates masculinity with dominance and power. However, this stereotype is not only limiting but also harmful to both men and women. In reality, many men are attracted to successful women and find their achievements inspiring and attractive.

self-sabotage in relationships

Attracting men that are not right for you

By downplaying their accomplishments and not being true to themselves, women may attract men who are not a good match for them, and may miss out on the opportunity to connect with someone who truly values and appreciates them for who they are.

Lack of genuine connection with someone

When women internalize this belief, they may downplay their accomplishments or hide their intelligence in order to make themselves more appealing to men. This can lead to a sense of disconnection and lack of authenticity in relationships, which can ultimately lead to their failure.

Difficulty figuring out who's right for you

This is another important aspect that many women struggle with when it comes to dating. Because of old heartbreaks, they have so many fears that they are hypervigilant and unable to trust men. On the other hand, many struggle because they fall in love too quicThis is another important aspect that many women struggle with when it comes to dating. Because of old heartbreaks, they have so many fears that they are hypervigilant and unable to trust men. On the other hand, many struggle because they fall in love too quickly. Knowing how to choose a partner for a long term healthy relationship is completely different from just simply falling in love. Thinking that men are intimidated by you, will just further muddy the waters and not allow you to focus on what actually matters. Knowing how to choose a partner for a long term healthy relationship is completely different from just simply falling in love. Thinking that men are intimidated by you, will just further muddy the waters and not allow you to focus on what actually matters.

A sense of inadequacy in women, which can lead to self-sabotage in other areas of their lives

This can include work, friendships, and other relationships, where they may hold themselves back out of fear of being too successful or too intimidating.

It is important to recognize that the belief that men are intimidated by successful women is a myth and to challenge this belief in ourselves and in others. You should embrace your achievements and celebrate your successes without fear of being judged or rejected. This is how you can prevent this form of self-sabotage in relationships.

How to stop self sabotaging your relationship by not creating more limiting beliefs

Consider how much harder it is for you to achieve your goals if you continue with this limiting belief.  Instead of figuring out how to get what you want, you wind up putting obstacles to meeting a compatible romantic partner.  Why would you put such a hard task on the Universe to prove you wrong? If love is so important to you, how can you help the Universe help you in fulfilling this desire? 

Instead of assuming something that works against you and putting such a hard task on the Universe to prove you wrong, how about you help out instead? How can we help the universe help us achieve something that we want so badly? 

We can achieve our goals by asking good questions. They will send you on the right path. Your inner emotional intelligence will start working in the ways that lead you to the right answers instead of assuming and creating more limiting beliefs. 

Three questions to ask yourself if you want to meet relationship ready men

If you want to find love here is what you should ask yourself. These questions will help you assess where you stand and what you need to do.

What do I need to do to meet a fabulous man who will be stoked to start the next chapter with me?

This is how you will get the right answers. Your intelligence and intuition can only work if you ask yourself the right questions, not when you make the wrong assumptions. OK! 

Who do I need to be to meet the kind of man that I want?

When it comes to most of my clients, this question often can trigger your brain to go in the direction of self-criticism and feeling that you are not good enough. The trick is to remember that you are already good enough, which is hard for high-achieving women.

 For example, when my clients explore this question, they come to the conclusion that they need to be more aware of how valuable they are. This is just one example, and you may figure out that you need to be more receptive, relaxed, and so on. 

Even more important part of this is knowing that your love and time are the most precious gifts. You need to become someone who keeps that in mind. 

Am I ready to receive the kind of love I seek?

Many women are conditioned to feel that they need to prove themselves worthy, and it can be hard to yield to a partner that is ready to love you. This is why many overfunctioning love seekers are attracted to avoidant men. This enables them to continue utilizing their survival strategy, overfunctioning. 

Another way in which women self-sabotage in relationships is burdening themselves with so much work. When you work too many hours, know that you may not be able to create meaningful connections with a partner because your body will operate in a survival mode. 

Finally, women who are not ready for a serious relationship don't budget for working on themselves and getting necessary care after a heartbreak, a breakup, or simply working on attachment trauma that prevents you from moving on in your love life.

Many simply continue operating in the same ways while expecting that things should be different. Thus, they often wind up repeating the same old patterns. Instead of investing in support that will get them where they want to go, many simply splurge on luxury goods that will make them feel good with some dopamine rush for a short time. It's essential to get help and figure out the answer to these questions. 

When you ask yourself these kinds of questions, you can eventually attract the right kind of  partner that will not be intimidated by your achievements. 

It is time for you to stop self-sabotaging in relationships

self-sabotage in relationships

What are you gonna choose? Continue thinking that men are intimidated by smart women, or be intentional in reaching your goals of creating a happy, secure relationship with a man that will appreciate and adore you just the way you are. 

If you want to meet quality men and learn how to engage with them, so that you can have plenty of choices, see if working with me would be helpful.  Let’s not wait anymore. It’s time for you to finally be happy in love. 

Is relationship coaching right for you? 

I offer online relationship coaching for high achieving women interested in sincere high quality men, men ready to give you their heart. 

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About the Author

I'm dedicated to guiding women from feeling confused and frustrated to feeling competent and joyful when it comes to matters of love and romance.

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